Drowning …I am drowning in the deep darkness where the hope of light is fading every second ..
Tears falls from eyes crying out loud but I don’t feel them ..they are just trying ..trying to wash the fog of sadness that are there in my eyes.. why they are there ..I AM HAPPY PERSON .. Am I???
No I am not ..fighting everyday from my anxiety.. standing still all day ..trying hard to smile and being happy ..trying to feel worthy but night comes and again it’s dark..
I am shouting.. screaming so hard but only I can hear that …everyone just see my silence…I have mostly sleepless nights . I can’t sleep ..because I am thinking all the time what i am doing ?? Who i am ??why i am still alive ?? ..I am tried to showing people I am strong ..I am happy-go-lucky person because I am not ..i used to be but that person lost somewhere and trust me i am searching too.
Can’t you talk properly ?? Can’t you behave ??why you stay alone ???why you always silent?? Why are you angry ??
I am not angry ..no I am not ..I am in pain ..I am in terrible pain ..it hurts .hurts so much …I being silent because I know if I speak no one going to understand me ..I am silent because that’s help me to bare my pain ..
Everything is hurting ..being jobless ,failure, disappointment making me weak every second..and you people helping me a lot for showing me yes I am worthless and weak.
I am frustrated ,weak ,but I don’t want to give up ..I really don’t want to …
I want to try because I have work hard ..I know that I am trying ..i have some people who care and want me in there life for them ..for myself ..for that happy-go-lucky girl ..I won’t give up.